Martin Smith from Unite Against Fascism was out on a pub crawl in London by himself drowning his sorrows about the U.A.F`s ever decreasing support and alienation from the general pubic and the political left, in fact certain sections of the Left believe that Smith is a protected person by the Establishment. Smith walked in a bar and went to order a drink but noticed a St George flag behind the bar, Smith immediately challenged the bar tender about the offensive item. Smith told the bar tender that the flag was a symbol of oppression and colonialism and that it represented the persecution of the peaceful Muslims by the crusaders in the Middle East. Smith continued being rude to the bar tender before ordering a pint of bitter. The bar tender by now was furious and decided to teach Smith a lesson. The bar tender went in the kitchen and pulled out the rubbish sacks and cracked a rotten egg open into Smith`s pint, then for good measure slipped an L.S.D tab in the pint. After half an hour Smith`s behaviour deteriorated so badly that he had to be escorted off the premise. Martin then started wolf whistling at a phone box and talking randomly to passers by. When Smith arrived at his flat which he shares with two other people he said "look at this I have just pulled, it`s pretty decent stuff" Smith had brought a massive black female back to the flat (see photo below).
The woman was so big that she took up all the space in the bed. Smith wandered out to the garden shed and fell asleep. The next morning Smith was discovered cuddled up to a battered old lawn mower and declaring his undying love for the rusty contraption.
