We have exclusive information on a new officer who has been placed in charge of an Anti corruption unit, this is to investigate allegations of police brutality and corruption, also to investigate numerous reports of the police confiscating drugs from drug dealers and then keeping the drugs for themselves. There has also been complaints about police officers trying to seduce females whilst being on duty which contradicts police code of conduct, as does theft. dishonesty, and section 18 malicious wounding, and perverting the course of justice.
The man in charge of the Anti corruption unit is called "Sylvester Sneekly" who has pledged to make full investigations into police misconduct. Sneekly stated that his aim was to make the police force a "credible" organisation again. Sneekly admitted that there was police mal-practice but it could be eradicated by "proper" investigations. One method of reducing complaints against the police would be for officers to remove their badge numbers before splitting peoples heads open, also Sneekly has suggested that all CCTV systems should be put in the hands of the police so that they can edit violent police misconduct out of videos, this should lower the amount of complaints against the police. Another possibility would be to send the police out undercover into a bar full of EDL supporters and start a fight, and then when uniformed officers arrive on the scene, the undercover officers would simply display a small identification card so that the uniformed officers would be alerted as to their identity.
Sylvester also stated that Theresa May was playing a major part in policing methods and that Theresa and David Cameron hoped to use the police force as a mass violent movement against ordinary citizens. One other option was that undercover police officers would act as postmen during election time that way all the leaflets by the British Freedom Party and the British National Party would be thrown in the canal, this would have a major influence on the election result. Sneekly was confident that the police would be at the front of imposing mass immigration onto the British people, and that anyone who did not agree with that would feel the full weight of the law
