POLICE TARGET DOG OWNERS
The police are set to tackle serious organised crime in America. There are certain inner city ghettos that need to have law and order imposed on them. The police have decided not to launch any more drug raids or homicide investigations, but the police are going to tackle the worst type of criminal on the planet, which is dog owners. Everyday dog owners allow their dogs to defecate on public pavements and highways throughout the world.
Recently a piece of dog excrement was discovered on a pavement in Atlanta, the area was cordoned off immediately and a nearby homicide investigation was postponed. The dog excrement was removed and sent to a forensic laboratory for examination. The serious crimes unit deployed a number of plain clothes detectives into the area to catch those responsible. One dog owner noticed two men picking up pieces of dog excrement and putting it in plastic bags, when the owner questioned the men about their activity, they threatened to arrest the dog owner and stated that they were detectives.
Schultz hackenburger was out walking with his daschund when the dog urinated on a street corner for about three seconds, schultz the pulled the dog away. Five minutes later armed police stopped schultz and arrested his dog. The family pet was then taken to the police station for questioning. Schultz quickly organised a protest at the local police station, where eight dog owners protested. The police then came out of the station and attacked the protesters with pepper spray and batons. One dog owner expired after being hit twenty times over the head, a police coroner carried out an autopsy and declared that the dog owner died of "natural" causes. The "independent" police complaints commission stated that the police acted within the law and that there would be no action taken. Barack Obama stated that he supported the new clause and was considering setting up a national dog DNA database where all dog owners who refused to take their dogs for DNA testing and registration would face possible prison sentences.
