LEICESTER UAF STATEMENT
Here at Leicester UAF we have devised a cunning plan in order to stop the Nazi EDL in their tracks in Leicester. Leicester is a peaceful multi cultural community that was originally called ledecestre from ligore caster from the Roman era, this proves that Leicester by historic tradition belongs to Muslims and Somali immigrants. The Roman empire had absorbed African immigrants via perverted practices.
Having phoned several police stations to complain about EDL threats that stated that the EDL have threatened to bomb any pub that does not sell pork scratchings, so a number of pubs will be closed which means the EDL will not be able to consume any pork scratchings or Alcohol, so how do the EDL whip up their supporters into a frenzy. No doubt a number of EDL supporters will be staying away from Leicester and visiting their local pubs and throwing bananas at the television when black football players are featured.
Although Leicester UAF see this as a major victory this poses a problem, we do not not want to see Muslim owned take aways out of business, a number of take away owners had contacted the UAF about possible loss of custom, also they were concerned about intoxicated white teenage girls staying away from Leicester on Saturday. The UAF have now decided to hold an Anti-racist music festa later on Saturday, this will give the chance for local take away owners to ply teenage girls with alcohol and get to know them.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE EDL.
Leicester UAF have spent the last week stirring the Somali community up, so on Saturday there will be a massive mob of frenzied Somalis looking for EDL supporters with baseball bats. There will also be nativity play with Weyman Bennett as Jesus Christ and Martin Smith as a perverted Roman emperor.
