Over the last few years we have been working to stretch the B.N.P out to their limits by using a traditional torture device called "the rack" that Matthew Collins has in his basement. We have also been putting financial pressure on the B.N.P by phoning them up and claiming to be a Turkish drug dealer that Nick Griffin owes money to. We have also been putting pressure on the B.N.P physically by getting Matty to sit on them and turn up at the B.N.P headquarters in a Black leather jacket with leather gloves on with a number of Black Brixton thugs that he has hired for ten quid around the corner five minutes previously.
Here at Hope Not Hate we do not take any pleasure in people`s pain apart from putting cushions filled with nails for people to sit on, and spiking their food with rotting meat salvaged from the refuse collection of a Chinese takeaway. Our work is making a massive difference to the B.N.P honestly it is!, and what we need are donations (you knew that was coming) so Matty can stock up on special brew lager and so I can go on holiday to the Bahamas again. Every penny of your donation counts and we will even send you a post card from the Bahamas while we our spending your money. We can now offer a Hope Not Hate personalised insignia service using traditional environmentally friendly techniques which consists of Matty tattooing your forehead with a compass and a jar of ink and carving the words "Fascists fuck off" and "I `ve got A.I.D.S". Matty is currently ill after a tin of special brew exploded in his face. Matty will be returning to "work" after he has filed for a ten thousand pound legal claim damages against Carlsberg. As an organisation we (Hope Not Hate) can longer associate ourselves with Unite Against Fascism after Matty fell out of the window with Weyman Bennett after having a few too many festive drinks on new years eve. which resulted in an earthquake registering at 7.9 on the Richter scale, So we have now been issued a bill by the local council for damages, and Bennett is refusing to contribute. Thanks to all the people who have sent donations to us and we look forward to receiving more money from you, or else you will receive a visit from Matty at your front door with a bomb gift wrapped as a present with the message "telegram from Mongo" which will then explode two minutes later.
