Last night Weyman Bennett was arrested and placed in police custody on false charges, this illustrates the chronic persecution of Anti-fascists by the state. A spokesperson for Scotland yard issued a statement claiming that Bennett was being interviewed about about missing Anti -fascists. UAF numbers on demonstrations have seriously decreased from 1500 at Bolton to just 50 at Blackpool, even the gay community rejected the UAF.
Officers are seriously concerned about UAF members, a number of activists were last seen with Bennett, the police have received various complaints about Bennett`s conduct. One Anti-fascist claimed that he had visited Bennett`s apartment in South Kensington after a UAF demonstration, the two were drinking when Weyman offered the man more alcohol, the two were listening to Smokey Robinson, the Bee gees and Andre connection when Bennett began talking about Socialism and how he admired Lenin`s persecution and starvation of Russian peasants and how some had been forced to turn to cannibalism in order to survive, Bennett`s apartment was adorned with pictures of Joseph Stalin, in one picture Bennett`s face had been airbrushed over a portrait of Stalin, at this point claimed that there was a problem with his freezer and asked the activist to look at it, Weyman opened the freezer and then pushed the activist into it, fortunately after ten minutes there was a power cut and the man escaped and ran out of the flat.
A police spokesperson also confirmed that the police had investigated a sighting of possible human remains near Bennett`s apartment, one resident had reported a giant piece of excrement with what appeared to be a human face, detectives rushed to the scene hoping it would be the breakthrough that they had hoped for, but detectives were disappointed when they discovered that the giant piece of human excrement was actually Weyman Bennett who had collapsed on the pavement after drinking 16 cans of merrydown after a UAF conference.
One other UAF activist also claimed that he had been assaulted by Bennett, a group of UAF activists had attended a stag party, Weyman was dressed up as "Texas Pete" from the eighties children`s cartoon super Ted, later on everybody ended up at Bennett`s apartment where they drank cider and sniffed glue, the others left and Bennett`s behaviour changed, the activist noticed that there was no food in the apartment apart from pieces of meat in the fridge, Bennett then threw salt and pepper in the man`s face and then charged at him with a fork, the man jumped through a window and escaped serious injury by landing on a pile of garbage outside the apartment block.
The police are also investigating a claim that Bennett had poisoned a number of UAF activists at a dinner party, Weyman had reheated the remains of a rotten Chinese take away that he had salvaged from a rubbish bin outside a Chinese restaurant, he had then served it up to a group of UAF activists who then began to vomit, when the paramedics arrived Bennett claimed that the group had consumed too much alcohol and that there was no serious problem, one paramedic noticed that Bennett was in possession of poisonous mushrooms including fly agarics and destroying angels, Weyman stated that it was not a criminal offence to possess the fungi, and that there was a major problem with rodents and cockroaches in the apartment block.
The police also confirmed that Bennett had been charged with a number of criminal offences, when the police attempted to arrest Bennett, Weyman assaulted an officer with a bottle of vodka and then hijacked a milk float, Bennett drove down the wrong side of the road and then mounted the pavement and drove through several red lights, he then crashed into a wall and then reversed the milk float into a police car and then dived into the river Thames, police dogs were deployed into the river to confront Bennett, eventually a police patrol boat captured Bennett, it took several officers to pull Bennett out of the river.
