Two pub managers have finally announced that they are to quit the pub industry permanently. Seth Armstrong and his business partner Mr Wilks stated that the quality of lagers and ciders in Britain was reducing the industry to a laughing stock. Foreign beers were now superior to British beers and ciders. Seth stated that the brewing industry were adding chemicals to British beers in order to speed up the fermentation process.
In Germany they have a law of purity called Reinheitsgebot, and in France it`s called loi de purete, which prevents chemicals from being added to alcoholic beverages, in Britain there is no law of purity. Seth stated that a number of his locals were enjoying beers and ciders, when one of the punters ran to the toilet with a bad stomach, a number of other punters also became ill with loose bowels. Seth had to spend 3 hours cleaning the toilets up the next day, initially it was thought that there had been an epidemic of gastroenteritis, but when the punters told Seth that they had been buying Polish beers, and not having any stomach problems, Seth knew the pub was in trouble. Seth stated that the Government had ruined the brewing industry by taking control of it. One local Alan Turner (see picture) had stopped drinking beer and had moved onto spirits, but unfortunately had become alcohol dependent. Turner stated that he had changed to spirits in order to curb abnormal bowel activity induced by British beers, and now his life was in ruins.
