BBC ORDERED TO HAVE MORE GAY TELEVISION PRESENTERS
A political watchdog has "ordered" the BBC to have more gay presenters in their programmes, this also includes children's television programmes including traditional children's fairy tales/fables. Disgraced television presenter Michael Barrymore has immediately volunteered for the job, and has even re-scripted traditional children's stories, although Barrymore claims that he is merely updating the stories to modern "standards". The tale of "faithful John" will now be called "unfaithful John", the Rumpelstiltskin story has also been changed, the elf in the story is now a homosexual who headbutts an oak beam after consuming 8 pints of west country cider in a tavern, due to being rejected by a local male, instead of stamping his foot through the floor as told in the original tale. Jack the giant killer has now been changed to "Jack the giant filler", and also the Norwegian tale the three billy goats gruff has been altered so that the troll in the story is now a homosexual that is actively pursuing the three male goats, eventually Peter Tatchell turns up with a group of gay rights activists to support the troll and the homophobic goats are expelled from the region.
The traditional punch and Judy show, which is normally associated with British sea side towns (introduced in England by southern Italian immigrants in the 17th century) has also been changed so that punchinello is now married to a man called called John and bludgeons his partner after a lovers quarrel.
THE POLICE ARE ALSO SUPPORTING THE MOVE
The British police are also supporting the new move in which the entertainment industry will introduce more homosexuals. Recently a children's pantomime was raided by the police after it featured a story about a king who falls in love with a princess, the police raided the theatre and ordered everybody to stop what they were doing or else they would be arrested, the police then ordered the pantomime to be re-named "the king and king", the police then ordered a male member of the audience to dress up in the queen`s costume or face arrest, the police claimed that they were simply just obeying orders.
