EDL SUFFERS A MAJOR BLOW

The English Defence league suffered another blow as its minority divisions diminish further.  Lion Singh who used to post on the EDL forum has now left and returned to Hamburg.  The EDL leadership employed Singh (no relation to Guramit) to portray a more liberal approach, but the leadership were unaware that Singh was an alcoholic pharmacist and a hardline leftist who attended St Pauli matches in Hamburg which has a massive communist/anarchist scene.  Singh had been posting comments on the EDL forum whilst manufacturing pharmaceutical drugs in his front lounge without wearing a filter mask, the results were like Weyman Bennett on acid.  Singh`s comments infuriated a number of EDL supporters and started numerous arguments, a number of supporters also left the forum because of Singh`s presence, and his use of abusive and vulgar language.  Singh is a self confessed anti fascist.

When the EDL forum closed, an off shoot forum opened up called http://www.ukfd.org/  Singh immediately registered and carried on his subversive activity before being barred permanently from the forum.

                                                      NICK LOWLES TALKING NONSENSE AS USUAL

The National Front are marching on April 20th to celebrate Hitler`s birthday, but the march has been rejected by the local council, the march was due to be an anti SNP parade against the so called Scottish Nationalists party`s pro European union stance, the SNP was founded on April the 20th this is the reason why the NF were due to march on that date, of course with lowles schizophrenic view of reality no doubt Hitler had to come into the picture, Lowles being a typical commie he had to invent the NAZI connection.  Like most commies Lowles has a morbid fascination with Nazism, Lowles is rumoured to have a dungeon in his mansion where mock Nazi executions are carried out.

                           POPE`S VISIT TO CUBA EXPOSES IT AS A REPULSIVE COMMIE DICTATORSHIP

The pope is currently on tour in Cuba with all the media watching, numerous political activists have taken the opportunity to get publicity.  Some activists have highlighted the cause of numerous people that are currently in prison for simply speaking out against the dictatorship, one protester shouted out down with the dictatorship and was then grabbed by secret police and given a few slaps before being carted away, no doubt the protester will now disappear for a few years.  The pope visit has caused controversy as there are numerous catholics who wish to practise and recognise their faith but with Cuba being communist the country is atheist.  This is the type of dictatorship that the UAF and socialist workers party want for Britain, even "former" communists such as Tony Blair and Gordon Brown made changes towards a soviet Britain such as state ownership of banks and finance and by turning our police force into a group of brain dead zombie type robots that obey orders from the home office only without thinking for themselves.

                                                                 900 COMMIES INVADE BOLTON

Around 900 commies protested in Bolton on Saturday against the racist NWI .  Only 20 NWI  turned up and they were transported with police protection, us commies attempted to stir up the local Muslim community in order to get them to attack the fascists, which could have had serious consequences.  Despite the fascists being out numbered two anti fascists were attacked, one anti fascist in a wheelchair managed to beat up ten fascists with his hands tied behind his back, blindfolded.  The reality is that the NWI  and CXF managed to enter hyde and hand out leaflets, but of course we won`t be admitting that we actually failed to stop them in HYDE.  You can view al 900 hundred of us in the photo below.

We were welcomed by the local Muslim community who chased us out of Bolton after one comrade let it slip that we are actually against all religions including Islam.  This is another success and we were able to take decent photographs of ourselves.

                                    WEYMAN BENNETT TO TAKE CHARGE OF ITALIAN BLACK METAL GROUP

Exclusive information has just been received that Weyman Bennett is to take charge of Italian black metal band mortuary drape.  The founding member of mortuary drape stated that the band would benefit from weyman`s input which would take the band in a political direction rather than being occult motivated lyrics.
The band fuses a style of heavy metal and hardcore punk and goth had decided to write new material with Bennett on vocals, they would also be changing the titles of existing songs.  The new track list is as follows.

INTO THE GAS CHAMBER
NECRONAZI
FUNERAL FASCIST
VENGEANCE FROM BEYOND AUSCHWITZ
NAZI ZOMBIE
INTO THE FASCIST CATACOMB
SCREAM BLOODY FASCIST
CHAINSAW NAZI GUTS FUCK
OBSESSED BY NAZISM

The band also stated that they would be changing their name to MORTUARY FASCIST, and Bennett would be wearing the traditional goth clothes on stage such as corpse paint and a cape.  It is hoped that the music could turn black metal fans into being politically left wing rather than being right wing.

COMMIE RECLUSES

                                                              

New internet service for commies with social and mental health issues.

Are you a commie that spends all day indoors on the internet, did you know that everything EDL spends 19 hours a day on the internet? and never leaves the house.  Is your name UK can`t fight back or BNP info? then we have just the thing for you it`s a new site called commie recluses, it`s a new site where keyboard warriors can exchange ideas. Nick pinocchio Lowles will be signing up to the new site and will be explaining his battle with claustrophobia for two decades.

We will be advising commies on how to make friends and keep them, we will also be advising commies on how to construct a basic argument without being abusive, we will also be advising commies on how to stop supporting the IRA and other terrorist organisations.  We are also setting up a communist camp where you work but you do not get paid, this is the true communist system, you will also be sleeping in a shed with six other people on the floor. so come on give it try.

                                                                 FASCIST FOX FARM RAIDED

A near disaster was avoided at the weekend when armed police officers raided a Nazi fox farm where giant foxes were being bred.  Horrified police officers raided a dilapidated farm in Todmorden West Yorkshire and discovered foxes that were 5 foot in length.  This could also explain horrific attacks on domestic pets in the area.  The police received information about a man with far right political views acting suspiciously in Todmorden, previously a raid on the farm only uncovered an air pistol, but the officers returned to the farm after concerned locals from a pub in Todmorden reported that a man with far right political views was breeding giant foxes to terrorise ethnic minorities.

The recent investigation was probed after a number of cats had disappeared in the Todmorden area, and it is believed that the foxes were being trained to attack ethnic minorities with.  The police are now looking at a possible combat 18 connection with the foxes.  A local man is being questioned by detectives about the giant foxes.

LIVERPOOL ANTI FASCISTS THREATEN THE FAR RIGHT

Above is an image taken from Liverpool Anti fascists website, they like to portray themselves as "serious" menace, below is photograph of the actual group, terrifying don`t you think?

                                                                           
                                                          NO SHOW IN HEYWOOD ON SATURDAY

As usual us Anti fascists couldn't be bothered to counter protest against the National Front in Heywood, 100 people attended the protest, there were more Nationalists outside in the street as well.  Members of public also attended the rally where local community wardens attempted to prevent the locals from supporting the demo.  After months of threats and empty promises about smashing fascism, once again us commies proved that we are a group of armchair vegetables that can`t get off our computers.

Today we are having a meeting in Liverpool to discuss smashing the N.W.I, phil Dickens has arranged the event and posted the event details on facebook and on indymedia, but most of phil`s comrades stated that it was too far to travel and one comrade stated that he was doing his "student homework" on Sunday and could not attend.

                                                 PUBLIC INFORMATION ADVERT ON MARTIN SMITH

Charlie and I were playing in the park when a Communist called Martin Smith approached us and asked us if we wanted to attend a Unite Against Fascism rally, he also stated that we could attend an international Marxist conference, he gave us a brochure that advertised the event.  Charlie (cat) immediately ripped the leaflet up and told Smith that Marxism had enslaved and killed millions of people and that the reason why countries like Cuba are so repressed is because of Communism, also this same ideology had resulted in mass starvation and poverty of Russian peasants and other people.

Marxism also influenced the French revolution in which people were decapitated by a device called the guillotine.  When me and Charlie returned home my parents rewarded us.  Charlie was given a piece of salmon and I was given Anglo bubbly gum, space dust and sherbet dip from the confectioners.

                                                               GROOMING FLUID ON SALE NOW !

                                                                            STRANGE BUT TRUE

A number of off licences have recently had to start selling small black plastic bags to Muslim men for them to put vodka bottles into.  We know they do not drink the vodka bottles, so who is consuming the vodka? and why are Muslims purchasing vodka bottles on a regular basis? possibly for the white teenage girls in the back of the car, which has tinted windows so you cannot see what is actually going on.  Does not leave much to the imagination !